are you miles away?

will we always sit here
half naked with the wall paper,
and the dripping ceiling,
(where is the bucket to catch
the rain drops which crawl
their way from the roof)?

will we always cross our legs
the opposite way,
i to the left,
you to the right, leaning on your elbow?

why do you wear your hat in doors,
is it to do with the radio waves
you once told me about
the ones slow as grass,
slowly,
ever so slowly,
cooking our brains?

do you remember that?

it was just before you went
to the post office, (to get some money,
you said) but while you were in there,
you told everyone i had shot you dead.

did you say i killed you with my mind bullets,
inflicting a fatal wound, while i cooked your breakfast?

and after you told everyone i had killed you
did you come back and eat that breakfast?

use it or lose it

'arry spider is doing your chores
with his long, helpful tentacles
dressing your suppurating sores
in zinc bandages.
when they amputate your leg
he will push your wheelchair
(your flat is already accessible).
he will hold a service of remembrance,
perhaps he will release 99
red balloons in the air?
99 messages of condolence;
saying your leg lived life to the full,
meaning your leg is dead
before its fortieth birthday,
99 donations to the charity of absent
minds and broken hearts (sponsored
by Carling), 5 times 99 toasts,
one to each missing metatarsal.

let's get the long handled  lump hammer
out the back of the van and start smashing things up.
our father calls it Eli, he says,
at least when Eli's finished,
though nothing is certain,
everything certainly will be new,
and 'arry spider will be crouching
in the dust, choking on the splinters,
squirming beneath the heel
of your well healed foot.

dawn

what ever happened that summer
before we started smoking,
when we stopped being ones
and started being more than twos?
we were still climbing trees then.
i thought you would be my best
friend forever, who else would run
in the woods with me? laughing.
when we went back in September
i remember we all had our hair
cut properly, gone the awkward
fringes, like we just knew the story,
what was wrong with our parents,
how to get stares off boys
how to wear eyeliner.
we walked in the middle of the road
uncupped from our mothers
and i remember watching you lock
up your bike, and i waved goodbye.

riot

I read this at the Crunch a few months ago, just as the riots were going on. Nothing strange about riots; or people believing in the apocalypse...but plenty strange about the press and their view on that.
This is my poem, hope you enjoy x





Loot'ers

you're just a load o' loot'ers you lot
giv'in us a bad name on facebook
you want them new Nike trainers
and a blackberry,
just a load o' loot'ers, your generation;
you haven't got a political agenda
you're not worried about ya future.
you're eleven,
go home and watch Tizwoz!

the water of the Old Pool*

(*Ch 22 v 11) Isaiah.

Things I read to avoid reading Isaiah:
the Saturday Guardian (twice), Joe Dunthorne's Wild Abandon (very funny), Oscar Wilde's De Profundis (very serious), a takeaway menu (x2), all the letters my son brought home from school.

Things I did to avoid reading Isaiah;
Rejoined Facebook. Had a bad mood (x2weeks). Had an argument with my friend in my head which started to leak out. Bought a new mattress and got it up to the loft. Fixed car. Cleaned car.

Things I did to avoid going to RBT;
Cancelled. Told everyone I hadn't read it. Told everyone I didn't get it. Told everyone I wasn't going. Bought a book off Amazon which was due to be delivered anytime Thursday (it came Wednesday teatime). Tried to sleep in. Tried to be sick.

Things I learnt while not reading Isaiah;

I really like duck satay (medium).


Some of the things I learnt by going to RBT, having not read Isaiah;

"woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." Ch 5 v 20

"so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Ch 41 v 10

"for your Maker is your husband." Ch 54 v 5