staying sane with RBT

On the phone to my mum, my mum does that thing where she relays what I say to my dad,
'Ron, Ron, she says, she's not bothered about all that, Ron, she says she's just interested in not being a complete and utter nutter...'
There is much laughter.
When I put the phone down I stare at it.

The Institute of Psychology did a study on people born in 1972, basically those people exposed to drugs in their young age (before the age of 18) haven't faired well in age in terms of intelligence.
The comedian in me conjures a picture of a government official desperately trying to find some forty year olds without a fried egg for a brain.

But they don't have to tell me, I can produce the statistics anecdotally...the just say no generation, said yes, alright, go on then...even The Institute of Psychology don't have the full story and even if they did, I guess they wouldn't tell us.

And that's what falling for lies does to you; it wounds you, it grieves you, it robs you blind.

What did I learn about Jesus in this month's RBT...?
I don't ever, ever, ever...infinity, ever want to lose him, not ever.

1 Thessalonians 1:4 For we know, brothers and sisters loved by God, that he has chosen you, 5 because our gospel came to you not simply with words but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and deep conviction.

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.
2 Corinthians 4:5-7

Let's talk about lust...

If you are widowed, divorced, finished with rubbish relationships, if you've just become a Christian, if you are thinking about getting married or even if you are married, at some point you are going to have to get a handle on Lust because it is not a male preserve.
A lady's lust is used to living in the cellar and as a result she has underdeveloped eyes and ears, besides she does not want to see and she does not listen. She likes very much to dress up as different characters, she likes to play Nurse and A Bit Of Fun and her favourite dressing up is Love, all fluffy and pink with red beating hearts.
Lust is usually kept happy by your frequent day visits. But when Lust realises you are not visiting quite as frequently any more she will to coin a phrase, kick right off and even chocolate will not calm her down. The voice of Lust says, 'you're not normal, everyone else is doing it, there's something wrong with you, look at her...even she manages it... just this once' and 'IT'S NOT FAIR. I HAVE TO. You can't stop me. It's my basic human right...See ME...' Blah , blah, unfortunately Lust's mouth is very over developed.
Your first response to an out of control Lust might be, 'Right...I'm going to bury that sucker.' And you might have some success...starved of the attention she craves she will shrink but try to imagine Lust as that psycho in a film, the one that just will not die whatever you throw at it, machetes, bullets, the A-bomb...six-feet of soil...she still manages to claw her way out grasping for her stiletto.

And just when I think 'I have no control over this freak...' I think I got some of the answer...I have no control over this freak. The one thing that makes Lust kick off is not to be seen, so my advice is see her but ignore her, and do not feed her, write your list of top favourite things to do without Lust and every time she raises her ugly deformed head, do them instead...enjoy the sound of her shriek...'I'm Melt-ing...'
Because make no mistake Lust out of control will take everything; your list, your keys...your shoes THE LOT. So double, double enjoy everything Lust can't get her filthy mits on...and finally if you truly, truly love someone...don't let HER near them x

1 Thessalonian s 3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality;
4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God;
6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.

The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.
7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

9 Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other. 10 And in fact, you do love all of God’s family throughout Macedonia. Yet we urge you, brothers and sisters, to do so more and more,
11 and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you,
12 so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

the art of being boring...

Does it come as a surprise to you that there are lots of mundane moments in life? Like does it seem that life is all about bedtimes, alarm clocks and washing the dishes or hoovering? Why is this such a shock? And if you could be honest are there good early to beds? Early get ups? Reasons to get up?
If you devote your time to looking for the party...you will always be looking for the party your whole life an endless, endlessly unsatisfied search. The fruit of the party search is a restless, perpetual hangover.
If you put your mind to it, your heart and soul into it, I defy you to be bored in your home. There is not the time. Housework is not boring, your home isn't boring, your kids aren't boring, you are not boring, unless you are constantly telling yourself you should be doing something else, dragging yourself helplessly and hopelessly through your life that in your wisdom...you have decided isn't good enough or exciting or fun enough for you...sighing, sighing, doing half jobs, half-heartedly, then yep, you are boring, you are bored, and you are a bore.
But if you embrace who you are, where you are and what you have to do, and get stuck in, the fruit of that will be a home, you'll be boring sure, but you'll never be bored.



Jesus said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Luke 7:49-50

...take another little piece of my heart now, baby

Manipulation is when someone tries to make you do something you don't want to do, the dictionary definition is,
1.to manage or influence skillfully, especially in an unfair manner: to manipulate people's feelings.

Basically if you are in the sphere of someone's manipulation, they have the skill, they are the puppet master, you are the puppet. The sphere of influence is vast, as suggested by the artful nature of the manipulator...nothing is off limits, mind, heart, body and soul, even children?
It's the five finger heart exploding technique.
The voice of manipulation sounds like this, 'Well, I'm glad you are okay. If you think that's right. There's nothing I can do. I'm doing my best. You can't ask for more than that. I will help you. I love you. I have always loved you. No one loves you like I do....'
Can you hear the drone of your puppet master? Are your strings tweaking?
The manipulator will not stop trying to manipulate you, even if your heart does explode, because that is the goal, the only way to stop the puppet master is to cut your own strings.
The way to cut your strings is to buy some ear plugs. Then be brutally honest with yourself; what do you really want? How big is the gap between what you really, really want and what your puppet master says you want? What do you think you are getting? What are you getting?

Good luck with the scissors.

locust years

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you.
Joel 2:24-26

dziekuje -( jen-ku-je)

Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.
1 Chronicles 29:12-14

Today God answered a prayer...it came from right out of the blue...and smacked me right into the chops, so that I actually staggered a bit and finally had to sit down for a while.
I do not deserve God's love. God's mercy. God's help. I do not deserve to have my prayers answered or even listened to. 
And this answer to prayer is actually more than I prayed for, its actually an answer to more than one prayer...it is perfect! It is perfection. It is God.

....People try to put us...DOWN

The upside to not being able to sleep before a flight is you will sleep during the flight.
So I'm off to Poland...
...and I have no intention of meeting or bringing back a husband!
It's not a game of rounders. I'm not the last to be picked for team...unhappy shoppers.
Where would we be if everyone got married?
I really must extol the virtues of the single, for one thing without 'husband' there is much more time to read...true fact.
Besides of which I have fallen in love with Roger Doltery, despite the age gap.
Will anything or anyone resonate with me quite as much as talking about my generation, on my forth coming trip?
Maybe I will sit next to someone on the plane...I have enough paper with me to do that dropping the paper pathetically thing in the security queue, should I be called to. (I'm already checked in...)
Or perhaps I will have a life changing exchange over a bowl of Zupa...who knows?
Who cares?
One thing I do know this door has opened, so I go through it, probably singing, 'Spice up your life....Slam it to the left if your having a good time...hi see y'ha - HA!
HOLD TIGHT!'

Marrieds may well be suspicious of singles because they suspect they have a nicer time shopping...but that's no reason to inflict it on the rest of us...putting the fear that if we reach out for that packet of crunchy nut corn flakes at just the same time, ...our happy shopping days could be over forever.

Furthermore, my hope is in Jesus. Not in my G-g-generation and not in a husband either, because my prayer is that the word of God will continue its miraculous work in me, which sorry fans and happy shoppers alike, will produce many more miracles, revelations and peaceable shopping trips than any husband ever could.
And on that note I will share 1 Thessalonians chapter 2 and chapter 4
 'but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in the face of strong opposition.'

name page

R- rebellious, riotous, rude,
E- egotistical, energetic, entertaining,
B- beautiful, benevolent, bonkers,
E- empathetic, electric, eccentric,
C- caring, cool, catty, callous,
C- calm in a crisis, critical, caring
A- active, alive, ace, astonishing,
L- lippy, lively, lovely, loving,
I- insensitive, irritating, irritable,
S- super, strong, striking, salty,
E- episodic, extreme, extrovert,
T- tender, talkative, tasty,
T- talented, tenacious, tender.

At Barber Booth

My Dad sees smooth deep crystals
form a drift between two hills,

running and skipping
off his shoes, he rips
the Anorak from his back,
tugs the v-neck over his chest
and starts to unlock his denims.

Us three kids and our mum
watch him dive, naked into the flurry.

Philipians or bust....

My conviction this month is crippling! Not that it is a particular shock to me that I'm horrid, or even how horrid I am, it's more that now I know how horrid I am...I keep on finding out how utterly horrid I am!
We are reading Paul's letters, every woman's favourite apostle! Actually I do warm to him, really- he's actually not that concerned with gender, he's more interested in heaven, he's interested in Jesus, and in Philipians he reminds us to follow Christ's example.

Philipians 2  ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Now women, by nature, by design are supposed to be good at this selfless love stuff, having to give their bodies over to babies for much longer than nine months etc.
But there are lots of ways around this, secret womanly ways...one of these ways is martyrdom.
So martyrdom goes like this; "I'm so glad you are sitting down, finding time to have a bath, cut your toe nails...I'm sure I do not know when my jobs will end...."
Another one is moods! Moods are fantastic! Especially when you spread the mood, oh yes, you are expert in inflicting the mood..."I'm in a mood...I'm angry...I'm upset...I'm tired...I'm lonely..."
The cry of the mood? "Share ME, share ME, share ME..."
I guess the next one is my total favourite, woo-hoo, fits of rage... now this can range any where from mild irritation, "shut up..." to full-blown psychotic episodes "I hate you, the world and everything in it..." and Paul informs me these are not fruit of the spirit, these are from the sinful nature...these are to do with your own self interest. And the voice of self interest will justify your anger until the cows come home. The voice of self interest is "ME, WANT, NEED, I, AM."

So Jesus says humble yourself to put others before yourself...self...self...and you might think how on earth can I do that? So he gives you an amazing example and dies on a cross for you...you...you.

Philipians

⁵ In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:

⁶ Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
⁷ rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸ And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death —
even death on a cross!

foible

I am a forty year old divorced mother of two boys, 17 and 4 there's kind of no way I haven't done life! And today I'd like to go all out in defence of no more men and no more children, for me. I get the strange feeling that this preference is never quite wholly believed...and sure shoot me down, wed me and help produce our late, loved  unexpected brood...but I do look forward to lie ins and a lot more news papers...I just don't wake up and think ooo babygrows and nappies...my last thought at night is not of a man.
I think after such a colourful life (and that is a euphemism) and after raising both my children without a father/husband...I rather think it is a good thing that I have discovered peace, and happiness without endlessly trailing around after another man and another baby...I mean I don't even want a dog. I like babies...I like men...fair enough I don't like dogs...But I think if a lady like me says she doesn't want to go through all that again, er there might be good reason and she should not be somehow treated as if there is something wrong with her, something somehow missing in her because she no longer finds baby aisles attractive.
One thing it has made me understand is you can't just want a husband...or just want to be a wife it kind of has to be happening to you for example someone said the back of my neck was beautiful;
I didn't  immediately run home and choose my wedding colours, I didn't dream of our first child because that would be ridiculous and frankly a bit weird,  admittedly I do have a beautiful neck but that is no reason to want to wash someone's underpants.
It neither means there is anything missing, that I am somehow incomplete, or have had something essential beaten out of me by various prolonged heart breaks...I think my existing children, my wider family would very much take issue with this having benefited greatly from my acceptance, nay love of singledom.
Further more did Jesus hard time Mary Magdeline?  In fact in Luke when some Sadducees are asking about 'complex' marriage histories... Jesus only points out,
“The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. 35 But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, 36 and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection. "

And I think it should be deeply encouraging and wonderful to meet someone, who by God's grace has learnt to appreciate the blessings of her earthly existence.

trampoline

will you dream of jumping high
somersaults and rolly-poly,
scissor kick or double twist
jumping over the moon,
over Saturn's rings and Venus
and a whole heaven full of stars?