Rescue me.

Recently we read Ezekiel and it reminded me all about how I used to live and it was very painful and upsetting and I couldn't sleep much because that's what sin does, it makes you cry and keeps you awake at night. But then after we finished it was great! I felt so much better. If Ezekiel suggests God will break your heart and I think it does ( Ezekiel 5:8-13, 6:9-10, 14: 4-5) the Gospel of John says Jesus can fix it.
And that's pretty much the story of my life, I first met Jesus aged 11 when I went to see Billy Graham, and then again crossing a road when I was 36. It's shocking to me how I could completely forget him in between, but then read Ezekiel!
It's very annoying when Christians say things like they met Jesus crossing a road. My eldest questions that, 'Like what? You saw a bloke in sandals with long hair and a beard...?'  But really if a Christian says they met Jesus, I think it means they have experienced what's called 'the conviction of the Holy Spirit', that is they recognised their sin and realised their need for a Saviour.
That's why I love John 8, where Jesus rescues the woman accused of adultery, everyone knows the line, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Jesus says perfect things doesn't he? Anyway the passage is also famous for the fact that he writes in the sand...
"But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground."
...and so people say he was writing the sins of the men waiting to stone the woman, or the Ten Commandments or a Psalm or whatever...but he could have been doing a Sudoku for me, that's not the way my mind works any more, my mind says if Jesus had wanted me to know what he was writing in the sand...then it would have been written in the passage and anyway Jesus isn't in the business of showing you anyone else's sin, just your own.
To me the most fascinating part of that passage is the power of that pause. The authority of it. As if   he may be waiting...or praying...and what happens next is astonishing because the crowd of angry, self-righteous, blood lusty men all experience the conviction of their sin...9 "At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there." They just met Jesus.

I think if I'd have been Jesus I'd have left me dangling for a bit just because I forgot about him for so many years...fortunately I'm not Jesus. And Jesus always gets it right, read John.
Do you ever get things wrong? I do. If I were a footballer, I'd be Vinnie Jones, if I were a character in a film, I'd be played by Joe Pesci....If I were a book of the bible... I'd like to be Ezekiel, but I'm none of those things, I'm just a born again, twice, weak-willed, sinful woman looking to Christ to show me the way, because Jesus always gets it right...and if you need a Saviour then you'll want to meet Jesus too.