Gifted, free, single.

Recently, God is speaking in triplicate, like Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. " -   three times in one day from three totally unrelated situations and people.
And I'm a bit worried it's because I'm thick.

You know like kids when they have to do the same thing three times and each time your like why aren't they getting it and you're on the brink of sending them to see a specialist when they either get it, forget it or leave home.

I've been kid free for two weeks this holiday- Yes, two whole weeks. I feel, I've seen into the future and the future is bright! The future is comprised of a nice life for me doing loads of stuff I didn't think was cool before but I do now...like cycling, swimming, gardening and reading, watching my films, listening to my radio...cooking my food. 

The future is not endless rounds of washing up; dishes, clothes, nor cadgoling boys who don't want to be clean but mysteriously still don't smell, it's not running late, it's not running around, it's not a calendar with everyone's appointments on it; colour coded, circled, ticked, crossed or starred.

It's only really when you stop, you realise you are alone.

I tried to insert a companion into my future in the form of a dog a little fluffy one, ' not a proper dog ' my friend laments as if I have somehow failed already, another friend projecting her desire for a sausage dog... a guinea pig, a cat, a hamster...But I just keep thinking about the poo. I like the idea of my future being poo -picking up -free.

My future is free of lots of things.

My future is free.

Now, what you should have noticed is there's a whole lot of me, my and mine in this fantasy future...because after the third Jeremiah, I stopped trying to work out how old Alfie would be before he could do a lane swim before breakfast club, I ceased to calculate the age he could have a door key or how old he would be when he could cycle on roads, when he could drive...

I began to marvel at my free. I began to cry at my plans, my future, my hopes, my choices!
I was thinking about my future? I had future?
This stuff - I do not do, that I am doing...
that I didn't plan.

God is faithful and one million percent true to his promises and can be trusted one thousand percent because He has plans for you.

That's taken me so long to get that verse, this long! And this is why I'm a bit concerned that I'm thick. 

Unfortunately the triplicate thing happened again today, when Will told me his favourite share from Matthew was when Judas met Jesus after he had betrayed him, and Jesus greeted him as - "friend" ...this is like "why not rather be wronged " it's like "love your enemies" ... I didn't tell Will I'd been dreaming of murder - I cried instead ! But I also finally faced the fact, that is fact...if I have been hurt, if I get hurt, when I'm hurt - I've got to remember, " my Redeemer lives." Because the damage I do to try to hurt as much as I have been hurt, far, far exceeds the hurt.

So much to learn about yourself when you are a Christian, it's a long road, it's a great road.

And it's free.

I'm leaving you with a verse from Isaiah, my book of the moment! It's a kind of triplicate verse, first time I heard it I wept, then I quoted it a lot, now I depend on it x

Isaiah 54:5 For your Maker is your husband—

    the Lord Almighty is his name—